2. FINDINGS
   3. Other Workplace Issues
      3. Some heterosexual lawyers appear to confuse a lawyer's being openly gay or lesbian with inappropriate workplace discussion of one's sex life

Confusion appears to exist among some heterosexuals between “sexual activity” and “sexual orientation,” a confusion manifest in the narrative comments of some of the heterosexual respondents to the Lawyer Survey. For example:

Personal sexual activity should not be openly displayed, discussed, bragged about etc., in a law firm whether hetero or otherwise. App. C, Comment 232 (heterosexual respondent)

I keep my personal life private and I expect others to do the same — not hide it, but not go out of the way to make it an issue. App. C, Comment 224 (heterosexual respondent)

My only comment is that work should not be a place to promote sexual orientation. All should be treated fairly, and beyond that issues of sexual orientation have absolutely no place in the office. App. C, Comment 70 (heterosexual respondent)

Frankly, I think the bar has better things to do. My personal opinion is that we would all be better off if sex were treated as a personal matter. I could care less what someone's sexual orientation is. Did my dues really go to this? App. C, Comment 213 (heterosexual respondent)

     Responses such as these appear to conflate “sexual activity” and “sexual orientation.” Moreover, they imply a double standard for acceptable office conduct by ignoring the many ways in which heterosexuals routinely communicate their sexual orientation. These are communications that heterosexuals take for granted as acceptable in their workplaces; indeed, that are part of everyday life.25 A heterosexual lawyer who places a photograph of his wife on his desk, for example, is not generally accused of flaunting or promoting his sexual orientation, yet when gay men and lesbians make their sexual orientation known in similar ways, they are sometimes criticized for doing just that.

In addition, when some heterosexuals confuse “sexual activity” and “sexual orientation” in the manner suggested by the comments above, or speak disparagingly about “promoting” sexual orientation through routine and innocuous human discourse, they discourage gay men and lesbians from honestly sharing their family lives. This often creates the false impression that a gay or lesbian lawyer is a loner, isolated, not a “team player,” etc. This sort of double standard for human discourse contributes to a hostile workplace atmosphere for lesbians and gay men.

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25. As one commentator has noted: “In most work settings, heterosexuality is continuously on display, ubiquitous to the point that we often fail to notice it. It is alluded to in benefits policies, in dress and self-presentation, in jokes and gossip, in symbols like wedding rings and baby pictures. Coworkers discuss their families, friends, and loved ones, and the sharing of sexual information often grounds such intangibles as rapport, loyalty, and trust.” James D. Woods, Is This the Right Time to Come Out?, HARV. BUS. REV., July-Aug. 1993, at 20.